This is nowhere near my Zen center

I tried yoga today. More specifically, I tried Weight Loss Yoga with Mr. Sadist himself, Bob. At first I was all, "I can do this, bitch," and then I was all, "Please god, let it end." Holding your arms out all warrior two and shit seems cool until you're holding them out there for three freaking hours and all the muscles in your body are quivering and all you can think is, "Will they take a slightly used yoga mat back?"