But I'm the only one who listens

When you spend a great deal of time alone, talking to yourself becomes the norm. And so, when you go to the grocery store to pick up a few items and you're debating which kind of bagged salad to get (50/50 or spring mix?), it's probably best if you keep that debate internal. Also, when your slightly dumber than average dog (whose first instinct is always to flop to the ground and give you his belly regardless of whether you're praising him or admonishing him) pulls his usual flopping act but this time on the top stair, and you tell him, "You're going to fall, Padfoot," you need to realize that he doesn't understand you. Anymore than the lady standing next to you at the grocery store did.