Mayday

Uh, who authorized the transition to May? It can't be May already. I'm pretty sure it's still July of last year, give or take a few days. Seriously, I've got about a month until my 10-year college reunion, and that is so not okay. How can I lose weight, get a Beamer, publish a novel, and have a perfect child in a month? Can't do it, people. Not gonna happen. Sure, maybe I could rent a child and a car, but the other stuff is hard to fake. At least I'm on pace to finish paying off my student loans soon. That's something, right?