First and last

I'm trying not to go into situations with "This is the last time I'm going to do this" in my head, but it's hard to avoid. Last night, I drove out to Bolton to hang with a good friend who I don't see much anymore, due to the generally hectic nature of life and distance (though there's nothing like moving 3,000 miles away to make you realize exactly how close 54 miles is). I tried not to think that it was the last time I would see her, though it will be the last time I see her for awhile. It was a beautiful spring day, and as I drank in all the scenery, I tried not to think that this would be the last time I saw it. And today, while celebrating Mother's Day with my sister and my mom (and then celebrating the Sox's un-fucking-believable comeback victory with Dave), I tried not to think about not seeing them regularly, as well. I'm trying to look forward, to see ahead to what I'm going to, instead of what I'm leaving behind, but it's hard. I know once I hit the actual road, I will see all that lies open before me, and I'm excited about that, I'm excited for all the firsts I have coming my way. But everything else? All that stands between now and then? That blows.