The undiscovered country

I went to Ikea for the first time yesterday. I know; I'm way behind the rest of the modern world here. I have to admit, I was a little frightened by the whole thing. I'm not one to cry "cult" rashly, but still. There are arrows on the floor and maps posted everywhere so you don't get lost in the clean lines and weird patterns of Swedish cheap, yet chic, living. They had all these crazy room and apartment set-ups, like what your life would look like if you lived the Ikea way -- and they covered everything, even bathroom and kitchen fixtures. My life seems disorganized in comparison -- like whatever the opposite of "clean lines" is. Dirty curves? I don't know. When I realized they had their own food, I knew it was time to go. I may be back for that dresser. And that desk. But I'm not making any promises.