Patchy

Jeremy and I don't hug. We're like two men. -- Me to Leigh, after I hugged her goodbye and gave Jeremy the head nod

You're such a boy. You're excited about getting a parking space, and you're talking about it in sports terms. -- Jen to me, after I scored a sweet spot at the mall

You know, I didn't get shorter. The pants got longer. -- Me to the fuckers who decided women's pants need to be 20 feet long to accommodate high heels