Dearest Mark,
It's me, Jen Garrett. We had a moment at last October's parade. I'm sure you remember it. It may have been the last time you actually smiled. Some people think your lack of facial expression stems from your naturally chill nature (or a lot of weed), but I know that it's because you're shy. I'm glad you could overcome that with me. Or at least that a grown woman screaming "Bellhorn! Bellhorn!" didn't scare you senseless.
Now that you've got some time on your hands, may I suggest that you spend it with me? We could do lots of fun things together, and I promise to pepper the conversation with things like, "Wow, this really reminds me of the time you hit the game-winning home run in the World Series." Or, "You know, I think strikeouts are incredibly sexy." As well as, "My, what a big ring you have."
Yours,
Jen
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